The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
