He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
