Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
