I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I faked an abortion last night.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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