All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
