I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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