Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Randomize
