I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
