The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
