You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
