do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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