every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
