I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you didnt know i had herpes?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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