when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
