Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
We named our party play list daddy issues
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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