hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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