I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
