I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
