My nipple is on Facebook.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
