He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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