how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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