I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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