I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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