Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
