YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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