High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
