the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
