got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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