if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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