The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
