would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
