He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
