Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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