She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
