hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
