apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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