I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
