I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
