Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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