Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
