he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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