Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We are two peas in an std pod
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
