Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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