I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
