we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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