i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
