I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
