It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
