from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
two words...techno handjob
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
