had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
