I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
do herpes really smell.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
