i just wanna soil my oats bro
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You took a bar mat shot.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
