I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
