her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
