just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Church boner. Awkwardddd
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
