Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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