Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
