doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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