I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
